fourteen//

I dream every night, vividly about very strange things, but I almost never remember them when I wake up in the morning. Usually I'm left with the bizarre feelings that go along with my subconscious ramblings, and they stay with me for a good part of the day. But every once in a great while I'll remember a dream and then I can't get it out of my head; today happens to be one of those days.

In my dream I had some friends with two children: a toddler and an infant. I don't remember where the mother was, just absent I suppose. It didn't seem strange at the time. The father was a blithering idiot. He didn't take care of his kids or even seem to know what was going on, and it bothered me. So the toddler is holding her baby sister, and they're beautiful. Beth and I are talking with the dad, and all of the sudden they're out of sight, drowning in a kiddie pool, stuck in there. Like vacuumed in or something, it was bizarre. And I'm the only one that cares or tries to do anything about it. I somehow extract them from the pool, and they both look like they're dead. It's terrifying. I can only do CPR (which I know how to do in the dream) on one at a time, and each second is invaluable so I start pumping the toddler's chest and hand the infant to the father. And he just stands there, looking baffled and holding the baby in one hand, DOING NOTHING. It's breaking my heart but I can't do anything about it because the toddler is still not breathing. So I managed to save the little girl but the baby died because of her father's stupidity. And yet I still felt so guilty and devastated for the rest of the dream, like it was my fault or something.

It was terrible.